Hey baby

Oh how I wish Ryland would get his sleep schedule straightened out. I am so tired today! Little boy slept 10 minuets in his crib last night and then was up. Why? Just because. He wanted to look around at everything and yelled at me if I blocked his view. Sweet goober baby.

Brenton is at daycare today. And I say for sure that he is loving it! He was excited at 5:50 this morning to get up and get ready. Bart is having his vasectomy today. I can take Ryland because he eats and sleeps, but Brenton is too much to handle in a surgical area. I kind of feel bad for Bart because I don't think he realizes how painful this is going to be for him. I feel bad, but then again I don't because as much as I love my three babies.... I just really don't want a forth. We don't have a room for a forth and there's no way we can afford a forth either.

I have my 6 week check up Thursday. I keep thinking to myself, "Really, 6 weeks? That's it??". Ryland is a monster. He for sure does not look like he is just 6 weeks. 3 month clothing is starting to get a little snug. My little monkey is over 11 pounds!! Oh my back to the point. For my 6 week check up I get my tubal ligation set up. I'm scared. I've only had one other surgery and the waking up from a T&A is completely horrible. Especially when you're told that someone would be there when you woke up, but no one was around. No nurse or anything. I ended up ripping my throat trying to talk because I didn't remember what was going on. Made my going home that day a little delayed, but they gave me lots and lots of liquid codeine. Twas fun! I'm scared that they're going to kill me on the table. Scared that I'm never going to see my children again. Scared they're going to botch the surgery and I'm going to end up pregnant because lord knows you can't trust anyone on base to do things right. Scared that they're going to open me up and find some type of disease or cancer. Mostly scared of the pain. For a surgery like this they make tiny incisions and blow your stomach up with gas. The pain from waking up and the gas escaping is excruciating from what I've been told. Since I'm breast feeding I can't take narcotics. I'm not going to drug my baby through my breast milk and I'm not giving him any formula. I've been trying to pump and pump to get a small supply of milk for him after my surgery, but my pump is so shitty. *sad face* I can't afford to rent one because I'm not working. Ugh.

Over the weekend I decided that I was going to get my hair chopped off. One of the AF wives on base does hair and did mine. It is super cute. I have bangs after 3 years of trying to grow mine out. I was kinda sad about that part, but they'll grow back. I hated my hair yesterday because I was trying to mimic the style it was after I got it cut and my hair refused to do what I wanted. Stupid hair. That's why I never do anything with it. It refuses to listen to me. I'm super excited for April because I'm going to get my hair color fixed. No more auburn on top and light brown everywhere else. *stupid faded hair*

I need to get baby in the tub. He's going to be pissed because he is sleeping, but I can't wait until last minuet before Bart's surgery. Hope everyone has a great day!!

Oh on a side note Jessica's baby boy is a cutie. I still haven't heard if he's home or what not, but I did get a picture.